…am offically on vacation,
am able to sleep in for a week straight,
get to celebrate with my family,
can cuddle with Adam,
get to wear my new dress,
get to show Jason where we’ll be married,
get to forget about work for a while,
am able to read under a blanket during the day,
chill with Steph and so many others,
stop feeling so bitchy. Damn, I was mean today.
Oh and read hungrygirl.com. Great site.
Horrible weather. It’s unreal. Holiday party was tonight. 140 showed up, 345 were on “the list.” Still, it was a good time. So many people enjoyed the opportunity to finally meet my finace. It was weird, though…a lot of people who were there last year, were not even invited this year. The employee roster is much smaller.
So I’m exhausted. I need my feet rubbed. And it just dawned on me that I have a 10 day vacation nearing. I go home this weekend for a wedding and then stay for an entire week and a weekend. I’ll fill you in on the details as it comes closer. I can’t wait.
Nightty night.
Attention everyone…Jamie bought her wedding dress. I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to see it. She plans on wearing leggings under her dress (not a fan of girlydresses). I would like to buy her those white ones with lace at the bottom of the them. Does anyone know where I can find those? Please advise. I’m sure I can just google them. Although, I wouldn’t be shocked if Nordstrom carried them.
No time to write, folks. I worked out late tonight, ate dinner after that and now would like to spend some time with Jace. I insist that he showers after he works out, yet I’m not. I was with a friend, so I didn’t sweat THAT much. He, on the other hand, is very sexy and sweats a lot. He has huge muscles. He can’t come into our clean bed without some soap and water lathered on his cute body. I feel like a hypocrite. Anyway, I’m going to read in bed now. Jace is reading Lovely Bones. He says he likes a “chick book” every now and then. I love that about him. I also love the fact that there are so many gay men in our building; we are on the cusp of Boys’ Town. It confirms that my man doesn’t know how to judge…and he really doesn’t. Like seriously, less than anyone ever. I’m positive that it was what drew me to him. When I met him, I was in a place emotionally that filtered out anyone who I felt judged me. So you can imagine that with Jason, I was only thirsty for more. The only group of people he can’t stand and definitely judges is “stuck up” people. That, my friends, he has NO tolerance for. He even “theys” them, classifying them into one group with one personality and one life story - not right. He makes false assumptions about people who live in certain areas and drive certain cars (”of course he cut me off, he’s driving a BMW”). That I don’t like….but sometimes I secretly agree. A lot of the time actually. Shh.
Anyway, I’m going to read…Did you know that our first conversation ever was about the book, The Time Traveler’s Wife?
Well, now you do.
Each morning I awake to a message from my father just like the one you may play below. A couple things to know - Rooney is my nick name, Bones is Jason’s and my dad is the coolest man older than 32 alive. These messages CRACK ME UP and get me to smile every single day before I’ve even had my coffee. I’m so grateful.
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Voicemail You'll Love Share this … |
A couple readers have brought it to my attention that I sound “all over the place” and “bipolar” on this blog. I am neither. In fact, as my close friends can confirm, I have never been more together! I think it’s because I often use this blog as an outlet for my emotions, writing mostly when I am really up or really down…that’s one thing that will likely never change; I am a very passionate person and that goes both ways. It’s just that I think too much and often comes out in my writing. But you should also know, my filter is huge. In time I’ve come to appreciate my filter and privacy (AKA MandM)…life IS private, but self expression is also very healthy for me. Anyway, I just want to acknowledge that, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m different than I’ve ever been before. I am coming into my own. I know who I am, I continually work on improving myself and believe wholeheartedly that I’m on my game (most of the time). It just so happens that I write when I’m thinking. Does this even make sense? Next topic.
Sixteen days ago I learned that charts are a great way for me to hold myself accountable for certain daily routines that I want to maintain. One, for example, is WATER - Did I drink my 8 glasses that day? I sure did today and I’ll check that box before I go to bed. I’ve been doing this for a little more than two weeks and it’s going well. Tomorrow I am going to use the same concept and apply it to my work. I think it helps me to focus when, as you know, my mind is EVERYWHERE! Next topic.
We’ve all fantasized about music in some way. Perhaps we’ve dreamt of someone writing us a love song (Jason, c’mon!) or perhaps we heard a song that reminded us of something that deeply impacted us (my father made a whole mix that told a year long story). Music has always spoken volumes to me. I can remember driving to NY with my Mom and listening to Counting Crows. I would pick apart each lyric and explain to her the amazing symbolism and writer that Adam Duritz is. When certain songs play, I am taken right back to those moments when I danced with my sister in the car to “I think we’re alone now” or when I drove to KSU to “Dancing Nancies.” Music has always influenced me in such profound ways that attempting to explain it is a waste of your time - it just doesn’t convey the depths. My point: I have a playlist on my iPod of music that reminds me of someone. It wasn’t meant to form its own playlist, but these songs happen to be songs that I’ve downloaded, so they’ve compiled into the “Recently Added” playlist. I’ll leave you with a video of one of the songs below. Sweet dreams.
I walked into a conference room today and Jamie Foxx was there. Yep. Love him. I went up to him and told him that “Dreamgirls” is one of my favorite movies. He said thank you and then furthered our conversation by telling me how upset he is for J-Hud. Of course I am too. Love her. He told me that he thinks she’s back at work this week. The conversation was pretty much over after that. Oh, and I got a photo with him. Hopefully whoever took it will email it to me tomorrow. Pretty cool, right?
It feels good to be home tonight. Last night I went to see a documentary about models and self-esteem at the Music Box theater. Check that out, if you live in Chicago. There are some great flicks showing there at midnight. (Do you think I would like a Clockwork Orange?) I JUST missed the ‘Sound of Music’ singalong. I’m annoyed. Anyway, I should be working out downstairs right now, but I just don’t want to. They redid the entire gym and tonight is an information session on how to use the new equipment. I was just too much looking forward to spending the evening with Jace. Too bad he’s doing laundry and looking forward to watching the Blackhawks.
What are you doing for NYE? Anything good? Let me know. Oh, here’s Jason now…I’m going to run. Maybe I can work some magic and get him to turn the TV off and turn him on instead ;).
1. Smile - it changes everything about the world (or office) around you.
2. Take a cab when it’s snowing in Chicago.
3. Even really nice people can be REALLY cranky.
4. I’m really good looking.
5. I’m smarter than a lot of people.
6. And I’m not afraid to say it - there are some dumb people out there.
7. I make mistakes, but none that cannot be fixed.
8. There is no correlation between self-esteem and beauty, intelligence or capabilities…how sad.
9. What my father says is thoroughly true. “A problem shared is a problem cut in half.”
10. Coming home to someone you love after a day like I had…is priceless.
So I’m watching the Style Channel’s version of wedding dos and don’ts. A couple I’ll have to cross off my list - starvation diet (as if the dress would ever actually fall off of me, but ok) and bright red lip stick (supposedly when people kiss you, it gets all over and you look like a clown?). A couple ‘dos’ made me feel on top of my game! Give bridesmaids freedom enabling them to feel gorgeous (I gave my seven women MUCH freedom), pick a dress that makes you feel like a bride (check, done), surround yourself with positive energy (my mom and dad, check, and my future hubby, check check check), and create a day that feels like you (doin it).
I’ve decided that I am going to take up Celebrity Gossip, fashion and shopping. I’m sick of the news, the economy, etc. I want to be 20 again. Loves you!!
Last night I went to a friend’s condo. It was five women and me. We all assisted our fabulous friend in packing up her apartment and leaving her past behind her. After one year of marriage, her husband cheated. Of course she’s better off to learn now rather than later, and of course she will be just fine. Certainly she has incredible friends and family and looks like that kill. But I can’t help but wonder how this can even happen. As I prepare to journey into my life with Jason, it dawns on my that there will be a multitude of obstacles that will face us. Boredom, temptation, frustration, disconnect and miscommunication…to name a few. I had the honor of attending my friend’s wedding a year ago and all that I saw was a gorgeous couple with a lifetime of happiness before them.
I went to bed last night wondering how anyone and if anyone should put so much trust in another human. People can be so messed up. It has always scared me to love someone as much as I love Jason. Afterall, life gives no guarantees and people lose loved ones daily. I realize that trust is something that you must give, if you want to live. If you fail to trust others, you are failing to give yourself the full and rich life that you may have if you chose to. I chose to.
When I returned home last night, I chatted with the valet about love and loss for quite sometime. He believes that life is a circle - what goes around comes around. And I agree, however, I just hope I’m around to see it all.
How morbid.
Oh, and the neighbor was dead for at least a month, they estimate. ugh.