I have no idea why, but my legs want to run a marathon right now. I already did a step class, power flex and ran 1.5 miles this morning, so why aren’t I exhausted?
Sometimes I dream about only working part time moving forward just so that I can continue my morning workouts…
Things are looking up on the job front. Hopefully I’ll be working in a month.
But if not, I’ll be “stepping.”
I hate when time erases my personal lessons and forces me to relearn them again through annoying or frustrating experiences. Once again, Stacy has learned that she opens up too quickly, allowing people in, hoping that they are everything she believes makes a compassionate and true friend. And then Stacy gets disappointed to learn that she trusted too soon, spoke when she shouldn’t have and trusted someone based on good intentions instead of earnings. Moving forward, once again, I vow to open up to new people and friends layer by layer. No longer will I go straight to the core and allow my insides to be exposed. My private life is a gift and to share it with anyone or in some cases everyone, is just plain stupid. From now on, people will earn my trust, so that I seldom have to take it away.
Anyway, people have been asking why I am not blogging like I used to. Right now I am valuing my privacy like never before. So many people have disappointed me as of late, so I have decided to keep my life between those few people that I truly trust and myself.
To anyone else who cares, earn it.
And I know who reads this blog, ya know. I may not have a job right now, but I am in the online business.
Why are you reading this if you don’t call or write or choose to respect anyone? Click on the upper right hand box and leave this site as quickly as you left our lives.
Balance is the key ingredient to my best life.
At the end of step class tonight, we did a little yoga. The teacher explained that when we lose our balance, fighting for it makes us stronger. Physically, she meant. It’s so true, I thought to myself. I’ve never been good at moderation until recently (I’m usually doing too much of something, or doing none of it at all). I’m still no pro, but I’ve come a long way.
As I get ready for my favorite TV night of the week, I congratulate myself on working diligently these past six months to keep my balance. Balance gives me inner peace. I fight for it, it doesn’t come easy to me at all. But just like my teacher said, I am stronger because of it.
My mom was in this past weekend. Jason had his cousin’s bach party in WI, so I invited her here to assist in my Bloomingdales registry (Jason and I attempted to do it on Valentine’s Day, but were overwhelmed and left). My mom and I had the best time. At one point, it was 2 AM and we were laughing so hard that I think she may have peed in her pants. Hilarious.
If you know my mom, you know she has amazing taste. We differ in our preferences, but she was able to help me focus on my own while at Bloomies. She’s contemporary and I’m transitional (or so I’m told). I am literally obsessed with the casual china that I selected. I am planning a dinner party a month after we return from the honeymoon. Sorry, but only twelve are invited.
Anyway, I have not been in the writing mood lately, but did feel obligated to note the incredible weekend that I had. To share these moments with my mom is to have the complete bridal experience (she didn’t even mind when I fell in love with a second dress - yes, the first one will be sold online). I just can’t imagine planning and glowing without her. I just know that my smile would be dimmed. One day, I hope to do for my girl what my mom is doing for me…If you’re reading this, I love you, Mom! Come back 
I was so bummed when she left that Jason asked if he should leave. Of course I’m happy to have him home, but no matter how much I love that man (so much), he’s still not my Mom.
Walking in the park with my mom and Adam. Jason’s nook. Feeling beads of sweet in my thick hair while I am working hard at the gym. Sending cards to people that deserve unexpected love. Liberating myself from caring about things that do not truly matter. Making Jason laugh. Watching my mom laugh. Watching my dad make my mom laugh. My father’s voice mails. Blowing bubbles on my balcony. Singing. Witnessing unconditional love between two people - any two people. American Idol. My newest wedding dress. Coming home after being away. Staring at my engagement ring. Making collages. Daydreaming about the future. Writing. Doing my makeup. Step class. Reading lyrics. Telling people that I appreciate them. Ellen. Shopping with Jamie. Meetings with my Dad. Snow White kisses. Truly embracing everything as is.
Jason booked our honeymoon yesterday. We’re going to Hawaii! You have no idea how excited I am. I hear it is “paradise.” And Meredith is a credible source. So we’ll leave the Tuesday after our wedding and return nine days later (I think?). We’ll be in Honolulu and Maui. Email me with any “must dos” while we’re there.
Going to see Rent tonight. The original cast is in Chicago. Sunday we’re seeing Joseph and next week Mary Poppins. I AM SO EXCITED. I may never stop singing.
PS - Are you reading upfromdysfunction.com? My dad is fab.